ocGA Vending Machine

The Machine honours my almighty dignity before returning it to me.

[inserts a um... well... you know... ehehehehe... wooooo... yes... that's right... a road code manual]

A car comes crashing out of the machine and mauls your face (dont ask how...)

[Inserts a dancing penguin]

The.... car.... mauls my face? Wtf?

The penguin belly slides out of the machine and tap dances on your already mostly shredded skull.

[inserts penguin's top hat]

A salsa dancing cat wearing the top hat comes out and dances on your car mauled face.

[inserts batman]

Fortunately, the cat had had it's claws clipped and so did not cause me any bodily harm.

Batman, from the depths of the machine, shoots his bat-grapple thingy at you. It wraps around your neck and with a single tug your head flies off.

[inserts your decapitated head]

You get the new delicious soda, Purplos! Just like the sausages but grinded up into liquids with soda water... mmmmm

[inserts Purplos!]

You receive a lazor collection joke!
Oh, I wonder what is inside...
Dr.Octagonapus
Ah, *punch* *punch* B LARGH!

*insert a $1.40

You get another can of Purplos! Oh gee, how can this day get better?

[Inserts a rock]

You receive a Tiny (from dota the big rock giant thing)

*inserts a buttercup*
not a flower but the niga higa one.

A fist comes out of the dispenser and punches you in the knee.

[Inserts a stolen $1 bill]

ow lol my knee

You receive a police mans "Falco-----SLAP!'

*Inserts half a wiener*

A full cock comes out






You know, a chicken!

[Inserts 13 babies]

lol

You receive 13 evil bitches i mean witches that attack you in the face

*inserts a fag*

a cigarette

Smoke comes out of the dispenser and assumes the form of a boot thus kicking you in the rear.

[Inserts an orange]

You recieve an orange frog thus humping your HOME DAWG

*insert the soiled HOME DAWG*

The HOME DAWG flies out of the coin reject slot and mauls your face

[Inserts your wiener hat]

The wiener hat comes out and ANALyzed you

*inserts Toasty and Adam*

Flames and the screeching voice of "SPY CHECK!!!!" come out of the dispenser and burn your genitalia.

[Inserts your burnt remains]

My burnt remains turn into Captain Falcon and give you a FALCO---SLAP!

*inserts a FALCO-SLAP!*

The vending machine grows arms and FALCON-SLAPS you.

[inserts an old apple]

The machine lights up and shakes violently. The glass goes dark and you hear something ominous along the lines of: OHOHOHOAHUAHUHOUHOUAHOUHAOUAHAUHAUUHOUHOUHOUHAHUHAOAHAOHO


[inserts ASS-CAKES]

A donkey comes up behind you and hits u with a rake, u die and one trillion dollars fall out of the machine

[insert a boner]

A strange liquid squirts out of the machine onto your dong. You are given an erectile dysfunction causing impotency in your genitals. You may never copulate once in your life.

[inserts craft foam]

The craft foam becomes a retarded man and steals the vending machine

*insert a... wait wheres the vending machine?*

You receive... well... nothing. You didn't insert anything. ._.


[inserts... LOST: ocGA Vending Machine posters into the police station]